Friday, July 25, 2008
Married!
Over these last 6 days we've continued to grow even closer and it's the most awesome feeling being able to look beside me and know that he is there. The deep conversations, the moments of just looking at eachother, the familiarity and the closeness, the smiles, the laughs....my wow! moments come when I start to think that I get this for the rest of my liveable life, I get to have him as a part of the rest of my life. I know things will change and we'll grow and it won't always be as easy as it is right now...but the fact that I know he is there and will be...it makes it all okay. I wish it was like this for everyone, there isn't not one individual that doesn't deserve to be this happy, not a single one.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Love Hurts
Brad has been leaving later and later each night because it's getting closer and closer to our day.
It's surprising how, no matter how much you tell your heart it has to wait until 'such and such' a day to commit on a marriage level, it just won't listen. It's crazy how all of a sudden one day you can wake up and be someone's wife but not feel like the commitment and expectation should not have already started prior to the date. It's just like with in-laws.....do they just all of a sudden become your mother-in-law or brother-in-law or do you start preparing your heart to love them on that level long before that actual day?
So anyways, back to my point...Brad left around midnight last night. I walked him out to his truck and engaged in a truly sappy goodnight that left me feeling reflective and on a cloud somewhere in The Land of Love. As I am walking back to the house from his truck, I was looking to my neighbors house to see if I needed to be embarassed or not. After verifying that our moment was indeed a private one, I turn to look back at the front door (which would be the direction in which I was walking.) and smacked the side of my head into some conduit piping that was peaking out of the back of my dad's work truck. Instant reaction was hand to head, but there was more pipe, so I scratched my hand also.
The side of my head has a wonderful scratch and some red puffiness. Now, you all recall the picture I posted yesterday of my hair-do for the wedding, right? Yeah...an UP DO. I am lucky to have a skilled make-up artist on the job for Saturday. I am also lucky that it was not my wedding band hand that was scratched. I guess if bad things are going to happen you have to look at the bright side to make it okay, right?
So anyways, just thought I would let you all know that, in so many words or less, love smacked me upside the head last night.
It's surprising how, no matter how much you tell your heart it has to wait until 'such and such' a day to commit on a marriage level, it just won't listen. It's crazy how all of a sudden one day you can wake up and be someone's wife but not feel like the commitment and expectation should not have already started prior to the date. It's just like with in-laws.....do they just all of a sudden become your mother-in-law or brother-in-law or do you start preparing your heart to love them on that level long before that actual day?
So anyways, back to my point...Brad left around midnight last night. I walked him out to his truck and engaged in a truly sappy goodnight that left me feeling reflective and on a cloud somewhere in The Land of Love. As I am walking back to the house from his truck, I was looking to my neighbors house to see if I needed to be embarassed or not. After verifying that our moment was indeed a private one, I turn to look back at the front door (which would be the direction in which I was walking.) and smacked the side of my head into some conduit piping that was peaking out of the back of my dad's work truck. Instant reaction was hand to head, but there was more pipe, so I scratched my hand also.
The side of my head has a wonderful scratch and some red puffiness. Now, you all recall the picture I posted yesterday of my hair-do for the wedding, right? Yeah...an UP DO. I am lucky to have a skilled make-up artist on the job for Saturday. I am also lucky that it was not my wedding band hand that was scratched. I guess if bad things are going to happen you have to look at the bright side to make it okay, right?
So anyways, just thought I would let you all know that, in so many words or less, love smacked me upside the head last night.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The [un]Veiling!
4 Days and Counting....I do believe I am glowing.
I really love fake n' bake because of the wonderful even tan that it gives. I don't do it often, only for special occasions-Prom, bridesmaid in Nate and Sami's wedding, and now for my own wedding. One thing that has happened this go 'round that has never happened before is...raccoon eyes. I try and follow the safety guidelines for tanning because I know that it can be bad for you and I would like to prevent those bad things from happening if at all possible, this is why I wear the goggles. However....I've also never experienced the raccoon eyes like I am right now. I'm thinking about using the fake tan lotion stuff to try and blend it, but who wants orange eyes with a nice brown face and body?? I don't know how I'm going to resolve this...but I have 4 days to figure it out.
I am pretty stoked for these 4 days to fly by. We have new company coming in each day this week. Great Grandmother and Uncle last night, long time family friends tonight, Aunt, Uncle, and Grandparents tomorrow, and more family Thursday and Friday. That makes for a fast week, and I couldn't be more pleased.
I'll be letting someone use my camera at the wedding so that I can get pictures up quicker than from the photographer...gotta figure out who to get to do that....someone who is into pictures as much as I am...we shall see!
Anyways, can't wait to let you wonderful non-existant readers in on my wedding! It's going to be spectacular!
Friday, July 11, 2008
When the Cat is Away....
Brad left this morning to go out of town (2 whole states away!) until Sunday afternoon, when upon return he will be playing in a golf outing. Considering he is not having a bachelor party or what have you next week, he is making up for it this weekend...or so it seems, lol.
I will tell you this, in the 4 months (4 whole months! It even feels longer than that.) that we've been together, we have only been away from eachother for at most, 2days (ATF).
I don't depend on Brad in the sense that I need his presence to make my day functional, but I depend on him in the sense that...he makes my day better than it could ever be with just me. I've said it once and I'll say it again...I am one needy chick. It's going to be a long few days...I will be filling them with packing, unpacking, organizing, cleaning, and warm times with an old and dear friend. This is my last weekend of single life...it's something I am more than willing to part with. I have so much to look forward to. I think he will miss me this weekend too, that's what it seemed like when we were saying goodbye this morning anyway...He missed me while I was at ATF and we've grown a lot closer since then (3 months of seeing eachother every day...).
Along with Brad being out of town comes, my first night in the townhouse :)I do admit this is something I am looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, my first night in the townhouse with my HUSBAND is going to be pretty B.A. as well....but there is something about being here alone that makes me feel like I'm being sneaky, and that is something I don't do much of these days, lol. He asked me if I wanted him to load the shotgun for me....have I mentioned that my redneck fiance (okay, he's not actually redneck at all....maybe just a bit country) keeps a shotgun next to his pillow right beside our bed? Yeah, he does. Being one that has never shot a gun with real bullets (BB guns don't count...), this made me a little nervous at first. I'm getting used to the idea because I've had about 3 people offer to teach us how to shoot correctly and safely.
The countdown is down to 8 days. I am getting married next Saturday. I get to attend a friends' wedding this weekend (same colors, same flower type, same officiant, same sanctuary) and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all works out and looks. We have everything done wedding wise, except that Brad has still not purchased his grooms gifts....tisk tisk tisk.
Time is closing in on us and I feel my heart beating faster, my eyes sparkling brighter and my mouth not being able to lose the smirk that quickly has spread to a an all-out-ear-to-ear-grin, I'm gettin' hitched ya'll! lol
I will tell you this, in the 4 months (4 whole months! It even feels longer than that.) that we've been together, we have only been away from eachother for at most, 2days (ATF).
I don't depend on Brad in the sense that I need his presence to make my day functional, but I depend on him in the sense that...he makes my day better than it could ever be with just me. I've said it once and I'll say it again...I am one needy chick. It's going to be a long few days...I will be filling them with packing, unpacking, organizing, cleaning, and warm times with an old and dear friend. This is my last weekend of single life...it's something I am more than willing to part with. I have so much to look forward to. I think he will miss me this weekend too, that's what it seemed like when we were saying goodbye this morning anyway...He missed me while I was at ATF and we've grown a lot closer since then (3 months of seeing eachother every day...).
Along with Brad being out of town comes, my first night in the townhouse :)I do admit this is something I am looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, my first night in the townhouse with my HUSBAND is going to be pretty B.A. as well....but there is something about being here alone that makes me feel like I'm being sneaky, and that is something I don't do much of these days, lol. He asked me if I wanted him to load the shotgun for me....have I mentioned that my redneck fiance (okay, he's not actually redneck at all....maybe just a bit country) keeps a shotgun next to his pillow right beside our bed? Yeah, he does. Being one that has never shot a gun with real bullets (BB guns don't count...), this made me a little nervous at first. I'm getting used to the idea because I've had about 3 people offer to teach us how to shoot correctly and safely.
The countdown is down to 8 days. I am getting married next Saturday. I get to attend a friends' wedding this weekend (same colors, same flower type, same officiant, same sanctuary) and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all works out and looks. We have everything done wedding wise, except that Brad has still not purchased his grooms gifts....tisk tisk tisk.
Time is closing in on us and I feel my heart beating faster, my eyes sparkling brighter and my mouth not being able to lose the smirk that quickly has spread to a an all-out-ear-to-ear-grin, I'm gettin' hitched ya'll! lol
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Holiday and Wedding
My first fourth spent with Brad was amazing and I can only hope that the next decade or so of our marriage will be just as exciting. We only have 11 days until we are married and time is flying by....I couldn't be more excited than I am. I'm getting nervous about walking down the aisle and about hoping everything turns out okay and that no one trips and that I don't snort when I'm bawling my eyes out and that there aren't a thousand and one shots of my face contorted in that uncontrollable cry that I have been praying doesn't happen to me....I so do not want to cry, Oh God. I want to be beaming with smiles and squealing with excitement, that's what I want. But I have a sinking feeling that I will not be able to control the tears because Oh My Gosh, Brad is standing in front of me committing to love me FOR. EVER. Holy Crap.
There have been small bouts of drama lately and I am actually baffled that it's happening because I guess I was nieve to think that things would be different with this wedding than other weddings. I guess everyone hopes that their special day will not affect others and that everyone will just be happy and smiling right along with you. I'd be lying if I said I haven't felt absolutely selfish throughout this whole process...I hate knowing that my parents have spent thousands of dollars on this one particular day and that they did it for me. I know I know, this is the one day I'm allowed to be selfish...but I hate it. I hate that our special day has caused unnecessary stress on people that we love and care about. If I knew I wouldn't have ended up regretting it a few years down the road, I would have happily gone and gotten married at a small wedding chapel in South Carolina with only family in towe, and that would have happened probably a month ago instead.
Brad and I were talking the other night after feeling hurt, let down, and frustrated...we agreed that all we need is eachother to make our lives happy because we are eachothers' family now...I am responsible for making him feel happy and loved and he is responsible for making me feel happy and loved....no one else is a part of that equation ('cept God...).
So, I will end with a picture of our arms around eachother, smiling, because we couldn't be happier than to be holding on to eachother for the rest of our lives.
There have been small bouts of drama lately and I am actually baffled that it's happening because I guess I was nieve to think that things would be different with this wedding than other weddings. I guess everyone hopes that their special day will not affect others and that everyone will just be happy and smiling right along with you. I'd be lying if I said I haven't felt absolutely selfish throughout this whole process...I hate knowing that my parents have spent thousands of dollars on this one particular day and that they did it for me. I know I know, this is the one day I'm allowed to be selfish...but I hate it. I hate that our special day has caused unnecessary stress on people that we love and care about. If I knew I wouldn't have ended up regretting it a few years down the road, I would have happily gone and gotten married at a small wedding chapel in South Carolina with only family in towe, and that would have happened probably a month ago instead.
Brad and I were talking the other night after feeling hurt, let down, and frustrated...we agreed that all we need is eachother to make our lives happy because we are eachothers' family now...I am responsible for making him feel happy and loved and he is responsible for making me feel happy and loved....no one else is a part of that equation ('cept God...).
So, I will end with a picture of our arms around eachother, smiling, because we couldn't be happier than to be holding on to eachother for the rest of our lives.
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