I often run off 6 hours or less of sleep. I'm grateful for 2 things.
1. I am grateful that I am a morning person.
2. I am grateful that I love Brad enough to not allow my usual too-tired-to-be-nice attitude to take over at night when we are spending our time together.
We have company in all the time from out of town during the summer. I never realized it until this summer because I've never had anyone comment on it...I'm just so used to it that it doesn't even phase me. I think Brad enjoys how close all of my family is. Well I take that back, sort of. I think he enjoys it once he gets past the initial idea of it all. When he hears that company is coming in he kind of has one of those "oh geeze, more meet and greet..." attitudes. But then the company gets here and he sees that the atmosphere is laid back and relaxed and we just have a lot of laughs and THAT is when I see him come out of his shell and really start to be himself. I love watching how he is with people, he is so....great. I mean, I don't know how to describe it. He talks and laughs and tells stories and I love to watch him be the life of the party...it makes me so proud and I am more than happy to sit back quietly and let him take the lead.
You know how the Bible talks about a woman submitting to her husand? I know that is often a topic for discussion because, wow....that sure does seem like it gives the man the total upper hand and the woman has no voice what-so-ever. But what people fail to see is that the Bible also says for husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church. We know Christ obviously loved the church because well, anyone remember that whole dying on the cross thing? Yeah. Not to mention....he made a covenant with Israel and even though they screwed up left and right and broke their side of the covenant, God continued to love them and take care of them. So really, if you ask me, the women get the easier task out of the two. I mean, my husband has to love me enough to want to die for me? And all I have to do in turn is submit to his authority? Which if you think about it, if your husband truly loves you, submitting to him isn't going to be difficult because he's not going to require anything of you that would cause you harm or too much discomfort...right?
Okay, basically what I am trying to say in a round about way (get to the point!!) is that I am so willing and happy to be coming underneath Brad's authority because it's a worthwile sacrifice. I'm lucky to be marrying someone who thinks like me when it comes to marriage and the commitment that we are entering into together. There are so many marriages that start out with the wrong mindset or the couple hasn't even discussed what eachother's role will be in the marriage and they end up failing miserably and ending in a divorce.
I realize that I am a pretty hardcore conservative when it comes to marriage. I am comfortable with that. I tend to be pretty liberal when it comes to issues that are not outright black and white. But I feel like marriage is a black and white issue (not in regards to race, you know what I mean...) with little-to-no gray area.
You know how "they" say that when women are pregnant they start nesting and getting prepared and it's au natural? I feel like I'm in my nesting period for marriage. I want to be ready for my husband, I want to be ready to take care of him and be there for him and for him to be confident that I am there for him and trust him.
23 days...I can't wait to be home.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Give and Take
When it comes to how I "do" relationships, I am a follower and not a leader. I treat you how you treat me. If you are stand-offish and ignore me than I will probably do 2 things...
1. not call you anymore
2. ignore you
I get so frustrated with relationships in my life requiring more out of me than what the other person is willing to give. DO NOT put expectations on me that you are not willing to put on yourself, bottom line.
I am the kind of person that, I have no problem giving all that I have to maintain a relationship. I don't care if it takes me swallowing my pride, or requires an action/emotion that is not natural or characteristic of me, or I don't mind sitting up at 11:30 to talk to you about a problem even if I have to get up at 5:30 for work....I have no problem doing any of those things. But let me tell you this....I can only do that for so long without feeling like I could do or expect the very same thing out of you.
Now...it's not like I do those things because I am looking for them in return, I do them because I care. And I don't get upset if you don't do them because I am selfish and feel like I deserve them....I get upset because I do those things as a result of my love for you and expect you to do them for me because you love me too.
There have been numerous situations in my life lately that have brought this to the surface. It's not any one particular situation or individual, it's just a few situations added up and have left me where I am today.
1. not call you anymore
2. ignore you
I get so frustrated with relationships in my life requiring more out of me than what the other person is willing to give. DO NOT put expectations on me that you are not willing to put on yourself, bottom line.
I am the kind of person that, I have no problem giving all that I have to maintain a relationship. I don't care if it takes me swallowing my pride, or requires an action/emotion that is not natural or characteristic of me, or I don't mind sitting up at 11:30 to talk to you about a problem even if I have to get up at 5:30 for work....I have no problem doing any of those things. But let me tell you this....I can only do that for so long without feeling like I could do or expect the very same thing out of you.
Now...it's not like I do those things because I am looking for them in return, I do them because I care. And I don't get upset if you don't do them because I am selfish and feel like I deserve them....I get upset because I do those things as a result of my love for you and expect you to do them for me because you love me too.
There have been numerous situations in my life lately that have brought this to the surface. It's not any one particular situation or individual, it's just a few situations added up and have left me where I am today.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Home
I walked up the stairs and through the doorway, taking in the feeling and the anticipation. I sat down on our bed and looked around slowly, wanting to remember this feeling. I'm imagining how many times I'm going to sit down on this very same spot and look at these very same walls and take for granted the easy, comfortable feeling of home.
This is the bed that I am going to lay in with my husband every single night. These are the walls that I will look at every day, that will protect my husband and I from cold and rainy nights. That's the closet where our clothes will hang together. This is the room that will witness many a romantic night, where our children will be conceived, where we will whisper to eachother "I love you so much" while the other is sleeping soundly at 2am. These are the walls that will absorb arguments and heated conversations, words that neither of us meant to say.
These are OUR walls, this is OUR bed, this is OUR home.
And so I cried tears of happiness.
This is the bed that I am going to lay in with my husband every single night. These are the walls that I will look at every day, that will protect my husband and I from cold and rainy nights. That's the closet where our clothes will hang together. This is the room that will witness many a romantic night, where our children will be conceived, where we will whisper to eachother "I love you so much" while the other is sleeping soundly at 2am. These are the walls that will absorb arguments and heated conversations, words that neither of us meant to say.
These are OUR walls, this is OUR bed, this is OUR home.
And so I cried tears of happiness.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Writer's Block, Stephanie Style
Take a look at the close relationships in your life (significant other, family, friends, etc.), what are some of the perks and benefits that add to their significance? What makes the relationship so special and unique?
So Blessed!
I feel so lucky to be where I am, with what I have, and who I have around me. I was reading Leah's blog the other day (sure wish I knew how to link...) and she said something along the lines of, weddings bring out the worst in people and babies bring out the best. I am happy to say that, while that is true for most people, it is not true for me. I have seen so many nice things happen as a result of my wedding coming up. Sure, there has been some drama that could have been detrimental to the wedding going off without a hitch...but not drama stemming from the wedding planning itself.
I have had 2 bridal showers so far. Both have yielded many gifts and laughs and a genuine show of happiness for my fiance and I. Best bridal shower moment yet...me opening lingerie and touch massage oil and blushing like some shy virgin...it's amazing what a year and a half of abstinence will do to a girls embarassment threshold.
Brad is moving into our townhouse today. I can't believe we are 32 days out, holy crap, I'm getting married folks!! Bridal shoot this weekend hopefully.
In other halarious news...an old friend from Raleigh sent me a message on MySpace that he would love to hang out sometime. I told him I would love to hang out, just dont expect me to drink a whole bunch because I had started going back to church and am now a christian and blah blah blah. He hasn't replied yet, and I think it's halarious. It just makes me appreciate my accepting friends so much more...Melanie, Laura, Rob, Becca, etc.
Work time...
I have had 2 bridal showers so far. Both have yielded many gifts and laughs and a genuine show of happiness for my fiance and I. Best bridal shower moment yet...me opening lingerie and touch massage oil and blushing like some shy virgin...it's amazing what a year and a half of abstinence will do to a girls embarassment threshold.
Brad is moving into our townhouse today. I can't believe we are 32 days out, holy crap, I'm getting married folks!! Bridal shoot this weekend hopefully.
In other halarious news...an old friend from Raleigh sent me a message on MySpace that he would love to hang out sometime. I told him I would love to hang out, just dont expect me to drink a whole bunch because I had started going back to church and am now a christian and blah blah blah. He hasn't replied yet, and I think it's halarious. It just makes me appreciate my accepting friends so much more...Melanie, Laura, Rob, Becca, etc.
Work time...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Hello blog world! :)
So I've mentioned that my fiance is a teacher, and well, that's just kinda hot in my opinion. Don't ask, I guess I'm just weird like that. But he just had to go and make a bet with his kids that if they all passed he would get a mohawk...and you know what that means for me? The hot factor just quadrupled. If this man does not chill out, there is just going to be too much hot. Can there really be too much hot you ask? Yes. Guess it's a good thing I'm so attracted to him considering we both plan to live long lives together, but it's a bad thing that July 19th is still 44 days away....
Mohawk pictures to be added soon (if he will cooperate, he loathes pictures).
I love the pool. I just thought you should all know how much I love swimming and floating around in the refreshing water. But it's getting warmer outside and pretty soon the water won't be refreshing. Well, I hope it will be...but the pool got warmed up quick this year and before you know it, it will feel like bath water.
I am in such a wonderful mood this morning. My whole week turned around and I'm feeling great. Tomorrow is Friday and that is just going to be awesome. After I get off work I'm taking my dress to Selma to get it altered (I know, I said I wasn't getting it altered, but I have enough stress to worry about without having to worry about 15/20 lbs to lose in 44 days...) and then Brad and I are going out to eat (on a DATE!) and then back to the house for a relaxing swim. Ahh, life is so good. The closer it gets to the wedding the more I wonder what I'm going to feel like that week at work, that night at the rehearsal, the next morning waiting for 2 o'clock to JUST GET HERE ALREADY, at the reception with my HUSBAND and that night when I get to be with my husband for the VERY FIRST TIME....that week no one is going to be able to talk to me. I think I'll be temporarily deaf, or temporarily living on another planet, and I'll be lookin' seriously spaced out. I remember on June 1st I was thinkin', dang, still have a month and a half to go! And now we're 5 days into the month and I'm like, where the heck did the last 5 days go?? So I know that the wedding will be here before we know it.
We paid for the carpet last week in the townhouse and we're waiting on an install date (Wednesday!). Once the carpet gets put in I will be taking and posting pictures for sure, I can't wait :) I hung our first picture the other day after my bridal shower. I also got to meet one of our neighbors (out back, directly behind us) and she's flippin' great. She's a total hippy and just got done island hopping (?!?!!)...I can't wait to hear some stories and get to know her.
Guess that's all for now!
Mohawk pictures to be added soon (if he will cooperate, he loathes pictures).
I love the pool. I just thought you should all know how much I love swimming and floating around in the refreshing water. But it's getting warmer outside and pretty soon the water won't be refreshing. Well, I hope it will be...but the pool got warmed up quick this year and before you know it, it will feel like bath water.
I am in such a wonderful mood this morning. My whole week turned around and I'm feeling great. Tomorrow is Friday and that is just going to be awesome. After I get off work I'm taking my dress to Selma to get it altered (I know, I said I wasn't getting it altered, but I have enough stress to worry about without having to worry about 15/20 lbs to lose in 44 days...) and then Brad and I are going out to eat (on a DATE!) and then back to the house for a relaxing swim. Ahh, life is so good. The closer it gets to the wedding the more I wonder what I'm going to feel like that week at work, that night at the rehearsal, the next morning waiting for 2 o'clock to JUST GET HERE ALREADY, at the reception with my HUSBAND and that night when I get to be with my husband for the VERY FIRST TIME....that week no one is going to be able to talk to me. I think I'll be temporarily deaf, or temporarily living on another planet, and I'll be lookin' seriously spaced out. I remember on June 1st I was thinkin', dang, still have a month and a half to go! And now we're 5 days into the month and I'm like, where the heck did the last 5 days go?? So I know that the wedding will be here before we know it.
We paid for the carpet last week in the townhouse and we're waiting on an install date (Wednesday!). Once the carpet gets put in I will be taking and posting pictures for sure, I can't wait :) I hung our first picture the other day after my bridal shower. I also got to meet one of our neighbors (out back, directly behind us) and she's flippin' great. She's a total hippy and just got done island hopping (?!?!!)...I can't wait to hear some stories and get to know her.
Guess that's all for now!
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