Brad and married life are everything I expected them to be. I'm exceedingly happy but I can also be oh-so-frustrated, too. We've worked through some things and have grown and I'm pretty sure this is how it's supposed to be. The amount of communicating we do is amazing and I'm so glad we can be honest with eachother about every.thing. When people say to give it time becase we are still in the honeymoon period, I can't even agree with that. Brad and I have never really had a honeymoon period, for one reason or another. That's not to say that I'm not head over heals in love with the guy and that the slightest touch of his hand doesn't still cause me to go over the moon...but I don't think we're in that fantasy land that believes marriage is going to be perfect and we're going to make babies and live this perfect life that is often portrayed on TV. We are not dillusional, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
Marriage takes work. Marriage takes communication. Marriage is uncomfortable, because there is no room for privacy (to a degree...). Marriage is the merging of two lives into one. And even though all of that sounds like total and complete crap and totally not worth it, it's not crap and it is worth it. The benefits of all of those things that marriage is? The benefits are just, beyond comprehension. That's why to me, it's so important to make sure he is happy. It's important to compromise on the little things, and sometimes even the big things. It's important to remember why we're here together and the journey that brought us here. It's important to remember the commitment that I made to him and the commitment that he made to me. When I'm really freaking angry and I can't even believe he can be so DENSE and I just want to be prideful and not speak to him and give him my "angry eyes" and shake my head at how unbelievable he can be....I remember that I had his ring engraved with "my love, my everything" and I realize that my love does not include anger (1 Corinthians 13:4-8...Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails.) and that if I am going to really give him all of my love and I'm really going to give him my everything, than that means swallowing my pride and forgiving him for something he may not even realize he's done (and even for the things he does know he did)....because it's the right thing to do and because I really DO love him with all that I have inside of me.
Do I think that Bradley and I will always be able to let things roll off our backs as easily as we do now? No. Do I think it will always be as simple as saying, I love you more than that? Probably not. But I will damned if I don't, at the absolute very least, try to be everything that this marriage requires me to be, to be everything that HE needs me to be.
God I love that man so much, he makes my every decision to be bigger than my anger and my pride so totally and completely worth it, he makes me grow and learn and he makes me stronger...I love that he is a part of every single day of my life because I know that without him, my life would be great...but with him? It's better than I could have ever imagined.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment