Holiday and Wedding

My first fourth spent with Brad was amazing and I can only hope that the next decade or so of our marriage will be just as exciting. We only have 11 days until we are married and time is flying by....I couldn't be more excited than I am. I'm getting nervous about walking down the aisle and about hoping everything turns out okay and that no one trips and that I don't snort when I'm bawling my eyes out and that there aren't a thousand and one shots of my face contorted in that uncontrollable cry that I have been praying doesn't happen to me....I so do not want to cry, Oh God. I want to be beaming with smiles and squealing with excitement, that's what I want. But I have a sinking feeling that I will not be able to control the tears because Oh My Gosh, Brad is standing in front of me committing to love me FOR. EVER. Holy Crap.


There have been small bouts of drama lately and I am actually baffled that it's happening because I guess I was nieve to think that things would be different with this wedding than other weddings. I guess everyone hopes that their special day will not affect others and that everyone will just be happy and smiling right along with you. I'd be lying if I said I haven't felt absolutely selfish throughout this whole process...I hate knowing that my parents have spent thousands of dollars on this one particular day and that they did it for me. I know I know, this is the one day I'm allowed to be selfish...but I hate it. I hate that our special day has caused unnecessary stress on people that we love and care about. If I knew I wouldn't have ended up regretting it a few years down the road, I would have happily gone and gotten married at a small wedding chapel in South Carolina with only family in towe, and that would have happened probably a month ago instead.

Brad and I were talking the other night after feeling hurt, let down, and frustrated...we agreed that all we need is eachother to make our lives happy because we are eachothers' family now...I am responsible for making him feel happy and loved and he is responsible for making me feel happy and loved....no one else is a part of that equation ('cept God...).
So, I will end with a picture of our arms around eachother, smiling, because we couldn't be happier than to be holding on to eachother for the rest of our lives.